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2. FJ'S -- THE FEELING JUDGING-MODE
TYPES
ISFJ -- Introverted Sensing Aided
by Feeling
Main Characteristics
Six out of every one hundred people are
ISFJs. Here the primary desire is to be of service and to minister
to individual needs. ISFJs carry a sense of history, a sense
of continuity with past events and relationships. Traditions
and the conservation of resources are valued highly. The least
hedonistic of all types, ISFJs believe work is good, play must
be earned. ISFJs are willing to work long, long hours. When they
undertake a task, it will be completed if at all humanly possible.
Adhering to an established way of doing things and doing them
well is valued and respected. The efficiency and effectiveness
of an established procedure is not often questioned. Procedures
dictated by handbooks are law. If others violate or ignore these
standard operating procedures, ISFJs are annoyed and irritated,
although they may not always display this reaction. Usually,
such irritation is turned inward and may be experienced as fatigue
and muscle tension.
Career
ISFJs are super-dependable and seldom are
happy working in situations where rules are constantly changing.
Their major need to be of service to others leads them into occupations
such as nursing, teaching, secretarial work, medical practice
(especially general practice), librarian work, and middle management
administrative jobs. They relate well to people who need them,
for example, the sick, the ignorant, students, and the "boss."
Much satisfaction comes to them when they are taking care of
the needs of another and they render the service gently and helpfully.
When the recipient is no longer in need, the relationship may
change its character, the ISFJ becoming disinterested. They enjoy
assisting the downtrodden and can handle better than other types
servility in others. If a situation calls for such behavior on
their part, they will show "due respect." ISFJs have
an extraordinary sense of responsibility and an outstanding talent
for executing routines which call for repeated, sequential procedures;
for example, ISFJs make extraordinary secretaries, highly efficient
nurses, and dedicated teachers. Speculation
and theory do not intrigue ISFJs, who would rather leave the
less practical matters to others while remaining themselves practical
and down-to-earth.
ISFJs tend to be devoted and loyal to a
boss and tend to identify personally rather than institutionally.
They expect others, including the boss, to follow procedures
and are distressed and embarrassed when people do not behave
as they are supposed to behave. ISFJs often seem to feel personally
responsible for seeing to it that people in an institution or
business carry out established rules and routines. They often
are aware of status given by titles, environment, offices, and
the like and can use this to advantage. They are aware of the
value of material resources and abhor the squandering or misuse
of these resources. To save, to put something aside against an
unpredictable future, to prepare for emergencies - these are
important actions.
ISFJs may experience some discomfort when
placed in positions of authority over others and may tend to
try to do everything themselves rather than insist that others
do their jobs. As a result, ISFJs are frequently overworked.
Home
ISFJs are devoted to mate and family and
usually are excellent homemakers. The home of an ISFJ is likely
to be well kept inside and out. Interior and exterior are meticulously
maintained and appointed in the traditional manner. As a parent,
the ISFJ expects the children to conform to the rules of society
and has a feeling of personal responsibility to see to it that
these rules are honored. An ISFJ is apt to find the putting on
of airs as offensive and tends to prefer modest, quiet friends
rather than more boisterous ones. For the ISFJ, people should
behave according to their position in life, and the ISFJ may
be annoyed by others who act either above or below their social
or economic station.
The ISFJ female often displays a flair
for making the interior of the home attractive in a time-honored
style, provides attractive, nourishing meals, and maintains the
environment in a neat and orderly state. To the ISFJ male and
female, the home territory is important to own and to preserve.
While ISFJs are super-dependable, they
may be fascinated by and attracted to the irresponsible, the
lush, the glutton. Many ISFJs marry alcoholics and then proceed
to conduct a rescue-rejection game without end, with the rescuing
phase taking the guise of an attempt to reform. Occasionally
an ISFJ mother may reveal a tendency to find humor in the "waywardness"
of a son, while raising her daughters to respect traditions and
to do the Right Thing at the Right Time; always.
ISFJs are frequently misunderstood and
undervalued. Their contributions often are taken for granted,
and the ISFJ as well is too often taken for granted. This can
cause an ISFJ to harbor feelings of resentment, and this bottled
up emotion can gnaw inwardly, causing the ISFJ much undeserved
suffering.
Mid-life
At mid-life ISFJs might want to develop
the thinking function more fully. For example, a study of human
behavior might be one avenue that ISFJs can find fascinating
at this time. They also might practice being in the limelight
occasionally, more aggressively claiming recognition for the
many contributions they have been making so quietly for so long.
They could even practice the art of accepting service from others,
allowing themselves to be pampered a bit, and cutting down on
the services they provide to others, no matter who those others
may be.
Mates
The conserving nature of the ISFJ nicely
complemented the iconoclasm of the ENTP "inventor."
There would seem to be an even greater affinity in the mating
of ISFJ with the ESTP "promoter." The dashing, glittering,
wheel-and-deal capers of the ESTP calls for anchorage. The ESTP
tends to have "high" periods during which there is
a whirlwind of euphoric activity. The ISFJ provides, and likes
to provide, a place to "crash" for our high-rolling
entrepreneur. Usually the ISFJ finds employment that requires
this ministering, nursing, helping sort of activity. Even so,
he or she doesn't seem to mind doing the same thing at home,
and so tends to get burdened with a bit more duty than others.
If the spouse does not show appreciation now and then for this
overtime work, he may be in for an increase in physical complaints
and "worries" on the part of the unappreciated ISFJ.
2. FJ'S -- THE FEELING
JUDGING-MODE TYPES
INFJ -- Introverted Intuition Aided
by Feeling
Main Characteristics
INFJs focus on possibilities, think in
terms of values and come easily to decisions. The small number
of this type (1 percent) is regrettable, since INFJs have unusually
strong drive to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely
enjoy helping their fellow men. This type has great depth of
personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand
and deal with complex issues and people.
It is an INFJ who is likely to have visions
of human events past, present, or future. If a person demonstrates
an ability to understand psychic phenomena better than most others,
this person is apt to be an INFJ. Characteristically, INFJs have
strong empathic abilities and can be
aware of another's emotions or intents even before that person
is conscious of these. This can take the form of feeling the
distress of illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult
for other types. INFJs can intuit good and evil in others, although
they seldom can tell how they came to know. Subsequent events
tend to bear them out, however.
INFJs are usually good students, achievers
who exhibit an unostentatious creativity. They take their work
seriously and enjoy academic activity. They can exhibit qualities
of over perfectionism and put more into a task than perhaps is
justified by the nature of the task. They generally will not
be visible leaders, but will quietly exert influence behind the
scenes.
INFJs are hard to get to know. They have
an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend
not to share their reactions except with those they trust. Because
of their vulnerability through a strong facility to interject,
INFJs can be hurt rather easily by others, which, perhaps, is
at least one reason they tend to be private people. People who
have known an INFJ for years may find sides emerging which come
as a surprise. Not that INFJs are inconsistent; they are very
consistent and value integrity. But they have convoluted, complex
personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
INFJs like to please others and tend to
contribute their own best efforts in all situations. They prefer
and enjoy agreeing with others, and find conflict disagreeable
and destructive. What is known as ESP is likely found in an INFJ
more than in any other types, although
other types are capable of such phenomena. INFJs have vivid imaginations
exercised both as memory and intuition, and this can amount to
genius, resulting at times in an INFJ's being seen as mystical.
This unfettered imagination often will enable this person to
compose complex and often aesthetic works of art such as music,
mathematical systems, poems, plays, and novels. In a sense, the
INFJ is the most poetic of all the types. Just as the ENTJ cannot
not lead, so must an INFJ intuit; this capability extends to
people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions,
episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual
images of things to come. INFJs can have uncanny communications
with certain individuals at a distance.
Career
INFJs often select liberal arts as a college
major and opt for occupations which involve interacting with
people, but on a one-to-one basis. For example, the general practitioner
in medicine might be an INFJ, or the psychiatrist or psychologist.
As with all NF's, the ministry holds
attraction, although the INFJ must develop an extraverted role
here which requires a great deal of energy. INFJs may be attracted
to writing as a profession, and often they use language which
contains an unusual degree of imagery. They are masters of the
metaphor, and both their verbal and written communications tend
to be elegant and complex. Their great talent for language usually
is directed toward people, describing people and writing to communicate
with people in a personalized way. INFJs who write comment often
that they write with a particular person in mind; writing to
a faceless, abstract audience leaves them uninspired.
INFJs make outstanding individual therapists
who have the ability to get in touch with the archetypes of their
patients in a way some other types do not. The INFJs are also
the most vulnerable of all the types to the eruption of their
own archetypal material. As therapists, INFJs may choose counseling,
clinical psychology, or psychiatry, or may choose to teach in
these fields. Writing about these professions often intrigues
an INFJ. Whatever their choice, they generally are successful
in these fields because their great personal warmth, their enthusiasm,
their insight, their depth of concentrations, their originality,
and their organizational skills can all be brought into play.
At work as well as socially, INFJs are
highly sensitive in their handling of others and tend to work
well in an organizational structure. They have a capacity for
working at jobs which require solitude and concentration, but
also do well when in contact with people, providing the human
interaction is not superficial. INFJs enjoy problem-solving and
can understand and use human systems creatively and humanistically.
As employees or employers, INFJs are concerned with people's
feelings and are able to provide in themselves a barometer of
the feelings of individuals and groups within the organizations.
INFJs listen well and are willing and able to consult and cooperate
with others. Once a decision is made, they work to implement
it.
INFJs are generally good at public relations
and themselves have good interpersonal relations. They value
staff harmony and want an organization to run smoothly and pleasantly,
themselves making every effort to contribute to that end. They
are crushed by too much criticism and can have their feelings
hurt rather easily. They respond to praise and use approval as
a means of motivating others, just as they, the INFJs, are motivated
by approval. If they are subject to a hostile, unfriendly working
condition or to constant criticism,
they tend to lose confidence, become unhappy and immobilized,
and finally become physically ill.
Home
As mates, INFJs are usually devoted to
their spouses, but may not always be open to physical approaches.
They tend to be physically demonstrative at times, but wish to
choose when, which is when they are in the mood. This maybe quite
confusing to an extraverted mate. Often an INFJ's expressions
of affection will be subtle, taking a humorous, unexpected turn.
INFJs need and want harmony in their homes and find constant
conflict, overt or covert, extremely destructive to their psyches.
Their friendship circle is likely to be small, deep, and longstanding.
As parents, INFJs usually are fiercely devoted. A female INFJ,
particularly, is linked to her children in a way different from
the other types: with almost a psychic symbiosis. This deep bond
can create an overdependency that can be unhealthy for both mother
and child. At the same time, INFJs tend to be good friends with
their children, while firm in discipline. They usually are concerned
about the comfort of a home and most especially the comfort,
physical health, and emotional well-being of both mates an children.
Midlife
At midlife an INFJ can best continue developing
the thinking function in the form of logic and the pursuit of
theory. The pleasure of taking a theoretical model and applying
it to a situation may be a source of interest which an INFJ may
have been neglecting. While continuing to pursue the person-to-person
in feeling-type relationships, at midlife INFJs may want to get
more involved in working with NT's, who offer a dimension not
dominant in NF's and vice versa. Carefully providing for rest
and taking care of physical health is vital to the INFJ at all
times, and mandatory from midlife on.
Mates
The oracular INFJ may opt for the inventive
ENTP, but also may go for a different kind of contrary, namely
the ESTP. The ESTP and ENTP, to the casual observer, look pretty
much alike. Charming, suave, urbane, humorous, witty, fantastically
easy to approach, venturesome, even reckless. But one is out
to invent, the other to promote; this is no small difference.
It takes an inventor to make a mousetrap, it takes a promoter
to make an enterprise. To succeed, the promoter has to be, in
the best sense of the word, a con artist. He must be able to
get people's confidence. Now why would a meaning-giver INFJ be
intrigued by an entrepreneur ESTP? Because he wants to help the
entrepreneur find his soul and his significance in the scheme
of things. Similarly, why is the INFJ attracted to ENTP? Because
he wishes to rescue this iconoclast from his seeming folly (and
let's face it, most inventions are abortive, or still-born).
2. FJ'S -- THE FEELING
JUDGING-MODE TYPES
ESFJ -- Extraverted Feeling Aided
by Sensing
Main Characteristics
ESFJs, the most sociable of all types,
are energized by interactions with people, tending to idealize
whatever or whoever they admire. Harmony is a key to this type,
which is represented in about 13 percent of the general population.
ESFJs are the great nurturers of established
institutions such as the home, the school, the church, and civic
groups. Wherever they go, they promote harmony and harmonious
relationships. They are outstanding hosts or hostesses, able
to call people by name, usually after one introduction. At a
social gathering they can be observed
attending to the needs of others, trying to insure that all are
comfortable and involved.
Social ties matter to the ESFJs, and their
conversations often drift to nostalgic recounting of past memories.
Traditions are developed, supported, and carefully observed by
the ESFJ. ESFJs are hurt by indifference
and need to be appreciated both for themselves and for the abundance,
typically in the form of services, they give to others. They
are conscious of appearances and take the opinions of others
regarding social standards very seriously. Values in an ESFJ
may take the form of should's and should not's and may be freely
expressed. Conscientious and orderly, ESFJs may become restless
when isolated from people.
Career
Career selection by ESFJs may lean toward
service occupations. They have such outgoing personalities that
they are outstanding at selling, being an invariable winner in
sales contests. They are apt to have seniority in any sales group
within an organization. Observation of ESFJs at work in a sales
transaction will demonstrate how this type personalizes the sale:
The customer is not buying the product; he or she is buying personally
from the ESFJ. This same characteristic causes ESFJs to be good
in teaching, preaching, supervision, administration, coaching,
and, in general, people to people jobs.
They seldom become a source of irritation to their superiors,
for they respect and obey the rules and regulations, are duty-and
service-oriented. They are loyal to their bosses. ESFJs are likely
to be aware of and enjoy discussing events and problems in the
lives of their colleagues; but when conversations turn to abstractions
of philosophy or science, the ESFJ may become restive. Analysis
of the complex - for example, and attempt to find an explanation
of events through an analysis of principles - does not excite
their interest, as it does the NTs'.
Home
ESFJ mates have a set of values which contain
clear should and should-not's, and they expect their family to
abide by these. They are conscientious about home responsibilities,
are orderly about the home, and prefer that other occupants be
the same. They enjoy socializing and entertaining. ESFJs want
family decisions settled efficiently
and quickly and want family living routinized, scheduled, and
correctly executed. They do not rebel against routine operations,
are devoted to the traditional values of home and hearth, respect
their marriage vows, and are the most sympathetic of all types.
They tend to be dependent on their mates and may marry to insure
that they have a proper place in the social strata. They enjoy
the rituals connected with serving of good food and beverages,
thrive on festive occasions, respect and accumulate a goodly
store of material possessions. They take their role in the community
seriously and are sensitive to the acknowledged, official decision-makers
and identify with them. They are aware of status, and often depend
on higher authority as the source of opinions and attitudes.
ESFJs wear their hearts on their sleeves
and are outgoing in their emotional reactions. They need to be
needed, loved, and appreciated and may spend much energy reassuring
themselves that this is the case. They can become melancholy
and depressed and even suicidal if they take the blame for whatever
might be wrong in their institution or their personal relationships
- as they are prone to do.
ESFJs usually respect and revere their
parents, and as children were responsive and obedient pupils.
They seem able to express the right feeling for a given situation.
They are soft hearted, sentimental, and usually observe with
gusto and a flourish birthdays, anniversaries, and the like,
making of the event a delightful, important occasion. At the
same time, however, ESFJs can cause others undue tension by expressing
anticipation's of gloom and doom, exhibiting a bent toward the
pessimistic that can be contagious. They need to control their
fears that the worst is sure to happen and suppress their tendency
toward crepe-hanging and anticipating disasters.
The children of an ESFJ are seen as an
extension of the family, and all they do reflects on the ESFJ.
If things do not go well, the ESFJ may be critical, even carping
toward his or her mate and children. This type may marry alcoholics
or others who are particularly needy. If a female ESFJ is married
to a mate who is not a good provider, she can become nagging
and brood over a comparison of her possessions and status with
that of others. ESFJs, male or female, live in terms of people
and things rather than in terms of ideas and principles. They
enjoy the process of decision-making, particularly when focus
is on the usefulness of things and people.
Mid-life
At mid-life ESFJs may want to get involved
in activities that spark their imagination and creativity, for
example, work with art media. They should find it useful to sort
out priorities in their values and force themselves to give more
attention to their own wishes and needs.
They could begin to practice the art of being kind to oneself
and each day attempt to do at least one self-indulgent deed.
Travel should be something ESFJs particularly enjoy; at mid-life
they should allocate time to this activity. Also, the reading
of "serious" technical books in a professional field
might interest and expand the horizons of ESFJs at this time
of life. Planning for retirement so that a sufficient number
of interpersonal activities are available is vital for the ESFJ,
who would very quickly become bored and restless if cut off from
contact with a variety of people.
Mates
There is a mutual attraction of ESFJ and
INTP. The ESFJ, wanting to serve as an anchorage for the INTP's
flights to the higher levels of abstraction, finds in the ISTP
an even more likely target for anchorage. The ISTP's flights
are often literal, not figurative: He really does fly. Look in
the cockpit of almost any aircraft and you'll find an ISTP. Of
course, most ISTPs do not fly in the literal sense; but the hankering
for adventure and exploration symbolized by flight is there,
and it is this, the hankering, that draws the ESFJ like a moth
to a flame. How does this serve the giving, caring, comforting
nature of ESFJ? Why, when the adventurer returns, of course;
the giver of comfort is there to provide rest and recreation.
2. FJ'S -- THE FEELING
JUDGING-MODE TYPES
ENFJ -- Extraverted Feeling Aided
By Intuition
Main Characteristics
ENFJ's are outstanding leaders of groups,
both task groups and growth groups. They have the charming characteristic
of seeming to take for granted that they will be followed, never
doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And,
more often than not, people do, because this type has unusual
charisma. ENFJ's place a high value on cooperation from others
and are most willing to cooperate themselves.
Found in only 5 percent of the general
population, ENFJ's place people as being of highest importance
and priority. As a result, ENFJ's may find themselves feeling
responsible for the feelings of others to an extent which places
a burden on the relationship. An ENFJ communicates caring, concern,
and a willingness to become involved. Thus people turn to ENFJ's
for nurture and support, which an ENFJ is usually able to deliver.
At times, however, these kinds of demands can overwhelm ENFJ's,
who find at this point that they lack the skills to dissociate.
ENFJ's do not seem able to turn away from these demands even
when they become unreasonable. Or, if forced to let go of the
burden through sheer unavailability of time or energy, ENFJ's
experience a guilt all out of proportion to the realities of
the commitment made to the relationship.
ENFJ's are especially vulnerable to idealizing
interpersonal relationships, raising these relationships to a
plane which seldom can sustain the realities of human nature.
Because of this tendency to raise interpersonal relations to
the ideal, ENFJ's may unwittingly overpower their friends, who
believe that they cannot possible live up to an ENFJ's perception
of them. The fact is, ENFJ's are extraordinarily tolerant of
others, seldom critical, and always trustworthy.
ENFJ's take communication for granted and
believe that they are understood and that their communications
are accepted. Just as they themselves are accepting, so do they
assume that others are the same. When ENFJ's find that their
position or beliefs were not comprehended or accepted, they are
surprised, puzzled, and sometimes hurt. Fortunately, this does
not happen with high frequency, as ENFJ's have a remarkable fluency
with language, especially in speech; they are particularly adept
when communicating face-to-face as opposed to communicating in
writing. They are influential, therefore, in groups, having no
hesitation about speaking out, no matter how large or small the
group may be.
ENFJ's have an unusual ability to relate
to others with empathy, taking into themselves the characteristics,
emotions, and beliefs of others. This can pose a danger for ENFJ's
because they can unconsciously over-identify with others and
pick up their burdens as if they were their own. In the process,
ENFJ's may risk their own sense of identity. They have a natural
ability to mimic because of this highly developed ability to
empathize by interjection. They are likely to be very concerned
about the problems of those close to them, but they also may
get as deeply involved in the problems of those not so close
and may find themselves over-extended emotionally.
ENFJ's would do well to follow their hunches,
for their intuition tends to be well developed. Decisions made
purely on the basis of logic may not be so sound, and checking
with a person who has a strong T preference might be at times
advisable for the ENFJ. In the framework of values, however,
the ENFJ is on a certain ground. Generally, they know what they
prefer and can read other people with outstanding accuracy. Seldom
is an ENFJ wrong about the motivations or intent of another,
hidden or not.
Career
This longing for the perfect carries over
into the careers of ENFJ's, who experience some degree of restlessness
whatever their jobs. And, as with ENFP's, ENFJ's have a wide
range of occupations which offer success. Being verbally adept,
ENFJ's contribute to an unusual level when dealing with people,
particularly face-to-face; the media, the ministry, and the stage
and screen are populated with successful ENFJ's. They make superior
therapists, charismatic teachers, excellent executives, and personalized
salespersons. Areas that would not permit utilization of the
interactional talents of ENFJ's for example, accounting, should
be avoided; otherwise, almost any people-to-people occupation
where personal, sustained contact is involved capitalizes on
the personality of an ENFJ.
ENFJ's like to have things settled and
organized. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements
ahead and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments.
ENFJ's are very much at home in complex situations which require
the juggling of much data. At the same time, they can handle
people with charm and concern. ENFJ's are usually popular wherever
they are. Their ability to be comfortable either leading or following
makes them easy to have around, whatever the situation. A well-developed
ENFJ group leader can provide, almost endlessly, activities for
groups to engage in with almost no preplanning and can find adequate
roles for members of the group to play. In some, this can amount
to genius which other types find hard to emulate. In this ability
to organize without planning there is a certain similarity to
an ESFJ, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than
as a leader of groups. The ESFJ is more of a recreational leader,
who insures that each member has fun at a party and that the
right things are expressed at social occasions, especially institutional
social occasions such as a wedding. ESFJ's, value harmonious
human relations above all else; but ENFJ's are not so easily
crushed by indifference as are ESFJ's and are more independent
of other's valuations.
Home
ENFJ's are socially adept and make excellent
companions and mates. They also are deeply devoted to their children,
yet tend not to be domineering to either the children or mate.
In fact, the ENFJ is so even-tempered that he or she can be victimized
by a mate who might have become more and more demanding.
ENFJ mates always try to please and feel
personally responsible when home life does not go smoothly. They
are tireless in their efforts to see that it does, providing
generously from available income, time, and energy. This dedication
often exists, however, side by side with an ENFJ's dream of the
perfect relationship - a characteristic of all NF's, but one
which is particularly strong in an ENFJ. Thus an ENFJ has that
longing for the ideal that results in a vague dissatisfaction
with whatever is in the way of relationships, mating as well
as friendships.
Midlife
At midlife, ENFJ's might want to expand
their capabilities toward introverted activities such as reading,
gardening, painting. They also may want to increase their sensitivity
to classical music, subtleties of fine foods and beverages, beginning
to develop ever-increasing discriminations of fineness among
fine things. Already likely to be a gourmet, an ENFJ might become
a connoisseur art collector, for example, or an expert of medieval
tapestries. Also, the development further of intellectual capabilities
might interest ENFJ's at midlife, perhaps taking the direction
of formal study. ENFJ's have the ability to appreciate both people
and nature, and more time spent in travel might be gratifying,
particularly if this was used as an opportunity to collect works
of art.
Mates
Who can complement this growth-catalyst?
The opposite on the S side is ISTP, the "artisan."
It is not difficult to see how the teacher inherent in the ENFJ
would want to "bring out" the craftsman in the ISTP.
The artisan, however, has another side to his nature that pops
up occasionally and in some cases is a life theme: adventure
and exploration. The ISTP can, so to speak, be wayward, take
off for parts unknown. It is difficult to imagine a similar desire
on the part of the ENFJ to bring out a sense of adventure.
The ENFJ, on the intuitive side, finds
the INTP attractive. Nowhere is a splendid target for our catalyst,
for beneath the cool, collected, detached, and doubting exterior
lies an architect of buildings, machines, tools, operations,
tactics, languages, mathematics, or whatever can be designed.
If, that is, this latently capable designer can be "activated"
or "brought out".
Copyright
2000, Gesher, Robert I. Winer, M.D.
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