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home < temperament and personality typing
< strategies for balancing your type (2000) (March, 2007 Note: Most of my articles on temperament, dreams, psychology, etc. are now hosted at www.neurocareusa.com. Go there for the latest version of articles. However, the links to old versions are still functional.) |
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Extraverts (E)(Time Management, Conflict, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself as a person of action who can get along with people and get things done. 2. If dealing with Introverts, don't expect them to volunteer information, gently ask them. Don't forget to use questions and allow them time to answer or put off answering until a later time. 3. Introverts generally have a greater need for privacy and quiet then you do. 4. Catch yourself from demanding that others make an instant decisions. 5. Allow the Introvert quiet time to recharge their batteries. 6. Allow yourself quiet time to introvert. Everyone needs to balance their own preference with its opposite. This leads to becoming a better integrated person. 7. Let the Introvert know that you (and all Extraverts) generally think out loud. Alert others that your first words after being asked a question may not be your final answer, but just represent your beginning steps in answering. 8. When asked a question, practice thinking first, then answering. 9. Your preference to think out loud makes brainstorming with others a particularly good strategy. Also useful is learning to dictate your thoughts into a tape recorder. 10. Like all E's, you enjoy and prefer response from others and from the environment. Don't be afraid to ask for it. 1. Try to not allow your preference for sharing your thoughts with others consume your time. Consider scheduling interactions and limiting their duration. Understand your proneness to becoming distracted by the outside world of people, situations, and things. 2. E's may procrastinate spending time to be alone, quiet, and reflect. Most realize their importance but tend to put it off until tomorrow. 1. E's may talk louder, faster, and want to "just say one more thing which will clear up the whole issue." They want to talk out problems now, and if they can't, they may get anxious or frustrated. 2. Remember to stop, look, and listen. Don't talk all the time. Listen to the other person's point of view. This may be difficult for you but usually is what is needed most. 3. Remember that I's often experience E's as an overwhelming intrusive, steamroller. Take it easy. 4. Be careful with another person's value system, especially an I's. People do not like to change their values as it has taken them a long time to formulate them. Be tactful. 1. Consider choosing a career that takes advantage of your action orientation, wide scope of interests, and lets you focus on the outer world of people and things.
(Time Management, Conflict, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself as an interesting person and one who is worth getting to know. Introverts have real depth and an enhanced ability to concentrate. 2. Realize that your greatest difficulty probably comes in dealing with the outer world of action and interaction. 3. Remember Extraverts (E's) have a greater need for social interaction than you do. 4. Consider gently explaining your need for privacy and quiet time to others, especially Extraverts. Don't assume that they know this about you. 5. When asked to make decisions or give your opinion, ask for some time by saying, "I'll think about that and get back to you." Generally speaking, don't make instant decisions. Beware that these situations often evoke in Introverts feelings of pressure, anger, and later resentment. Consider eliminating the problems before it occurs. 6. Resist using silence to manipulate or self-protect. 7. If you need time to process something, let the E know that's what you are doing, and that the E has done nothing wrong. 8. Ask a trusted E friend to help you check out your values. This may give you a vantage point you didn't consider. 9. Try to smile more. Introverts often fail to show much outward emotion. 10. Give E's more affirmation and response then you may think necessary. 1. Be careful not to stay inside yourself too much. You must learn when to emerge from your introversion to do what must be done. 2. If you live with an E or have a lot of E friends, don't schedule your time so that you're "all extraverted out" by the time you and the E get together. 3. Introverts may procrastinate when it come time to interact with a group of people. Realize this and work on it. 1. I's may internalize a disagreement to reflect on what took place often rerunning it inside their heads. While it's helpful to mull over what happened, how you or others acted, and how to deal with the conflict, beware not to allow this internal reflection to replace dealing with the problem in the real world. I's tend to make a myth for themselves that the internal dealing with an issue resolves it. 2. I's may avoid expressing themselves in a conflict situation. Resist this and tell your side of the story 3. When dealing with an E, you may need to "overact" a little to get your message across in language the E understands. Let your facial expressions and tone of voice reflect the importance of your point. 4. As an I, you probably think you've said more out loud than you really have, because you've been thinking about it all in your head. Remember others don't hear it if you haven't said it. 1. Consider choosing a career that takes advantages of your depth of concentration, tendency toward specialization, and preference for an atmosphere that is not highly interactive.
(Time Management, Conflict, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself for your gift of practical skills, powers of observation, and firm sense of reality. 2. Remember that Intuitives (N) tend to present new ideas in an immediate, rough, and sketchy form. Try to concentrate on the main points and ignore the detail that has not yet been worked out. Even if it won't work now, it may work later with changes. 3. When dealing with N's, give them the prospect of some interesting possibilities before requiring them to concentrate on the facts. 4. When presenting an idea to an N, know what your main point is. Try not to get lost in a million details and facts. If you need help with an idea, ask: "What would you do about this?" The intuitive will be happy to help you through the obstacles. 5. Try something new every day, even if it's just something little. 6. To work on balancing your preference for reality--just for fun--try working on your intuition by brainstorming ideas with an N. An N can provide the impetus to generating some solutions you've never thought of. N's aren't afraid to make an "off the wall" or ridiculous suggestion or idea. This type of stimulation is good for you. 7. Next time you're about to turn down an idea, say instead, "It might work, if..." If you can't avoid pointing out the difficulties, combine it with a question, "What would you do about this and this?" 8. Try bouncing your decisions off an intuitive before you proceed with them. They may suggest a better way, a new twist, or an entirely different approach. 9. Remember that as a Sensor you need a certain degree of "feasts, treats, or sensory experiences." Don't feel guilty about this. There is time and place for this. 1. Remember that there is more to time than the actual minutes and seconds. Press yourself to see beyond the exactness of time to get a sense of history or a vision for the future. 2. S's may procrastinate when it comes time to engage the imagination, or in thinking about the future. 1. Sensors hear literally what's said, while Ns hear figuratively what was meant or what they thought was meant. 2. The only real conflict to an S is that which is actual and immediate. They often make a myth for themselves that "out of sight" is "out of mind." 3. Watch your behavior. Mature sensing applies practical skills appropriately, usually on the basis of their past success in the real world. Your intuition may be immature and as a result you may see the future in negative terms, be unduly pessimistic, or get stuck in a rut not being able to see possible ways out. 4. Remember that there is more to a conflict than just the facts. People issues are generally more important. It's important to look at the extenuating circumstances. If someone always disagrees with you no matter what you say, there may be other issues involved than just the immediate facts. 1. Consider a career that used to advantage your strengths of practicality, realism, and ability with facts.
(Time Management, Conflict, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself for your creativity, rapid insights, and ability to see future possibilities. 2. When dealing with a S, work out the details. Be clear about the facts, and have a clear plan of action. Try to present your ideas in finished form rather than a rough idea or a sketch. 3. When presenting ideas to a S, try not to jump around. Follow an orderly step-by-step written outline. 4. Don't give out too many possibilities. This can overwhelm the non-N. Though you have 100 incredible ideas, settle on the best 1 or 2. Giving more typically confuses rather than helps the S. 5. Define your terms carefully, especially when dealing with an S. 6. Finish your sentences when talking to S's. And remember not to finish theirs for them. 7. Consider telling others when you change subjects. If you change the person you or talking about, don't forget to mention it. Realize your tendency to jump around. 8. Remember to make your solutions workable in the real world. 9. When you can't find something, it's probably where you already looked 3 times, but you just didn't see it. Look there again, or get an S to look for you. 10. Take some time to smell a flower, watch the clouds, study the details, and "listen" to what your senses tell you. Mentally measure what can be measured, count what can be counted. 11. Today is part of that long-awaited future. Watch out that you don't miss it. 12. If all else fails, read the directions. 13. Pay attention to what your body is dealing you. N's often fail to notice they are exhausted or in pain. 1. Be realistic. Ask yourself: "Can I really do all I have set out to do in the time I have to do it?" 2. Ns procrastinate when it comes to engaging in S type activities. Learn time management techniques. 1. An N hears figuratively what is said, while an S hears literally what he or she thought was meant. 2. The N's blueprint for settling a dispute may not include the actual steps for implementation. 3. Stick to the issues. Typically it helps to settle the immediate simple dispute first. This usually allows you to deal with the bigger issue later. 4. Remember S's take facts more seriously than you might. So give them an explicit statement of the problem before asking them to consider possible solutions. 5. Watch your behavior. Mature intuition is creative, complex, and amazingly accurate most of the time. An N using immature Sensing is likely to get obsessed with unimportant details and be preoccupied with irrelevant facts. 6. N's under stress may indulge in sensory pursuits unwisely. 1. Consider careers that take advantage of your strengths: variety, the ability to handle complexity, creativity, the big-picture, and focusing on the future.
(Time Management, Conflict, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself for your logical mind, ability to find the flaws, and fairness. 2. Don't forget to consider the seemingly illogical human reactions and motives that are part of any interpersonal situation such as dealings at work or with family and friends. Gently ask questions about how others feel. Feelings are real world facts that you need to consider when you act. Don't forget to fully consider the people involved when trying to solve a problem. 3. Remember Feelers (F's) like harmony. They would like to agree with you if given the chance. Begin with points of agreement. Set a positive relationship by warm tones of friendship. This enables points of disagreement to be discussed and not fought over. 4. Listen to others, in turn. Remember F's may not want a logical solution. They have a need to be listened to empathetically and non-judgmentally. 5. F's care most about matters that have a direct effect on people. If you start with a concern for people, they will generally be receptive to listening. 6. Before arguing about the ways to achieve them, try to get agreement on defining the problem, goals, and objectives. 7. Pay more attention to the process instead of just the outcome. Learn to enjoy the process as well as the product. 8. Smile more. It will do wonders for you. Appreciate others giving them the strokes they deserve. F's have a greater need for harmony than you do. Practice being gentle with others.
1. Part of the project is allowing space for others' schedules. Don't force others into your time schedule. 2. T's procrastinate when it comes to making time for the interpersonal aspects of life. 1. Thinkers tend to get too analytical in a dispute; their logical analysis may have little to do with the hurt feelings involved. Saying "Don't get emotional" usually causes more problems than it solves. 2. Allow for some genuine expression of emotion. If you are unable to express your emotions, don't make the mistake of not allowing others to express theirs. 3. Avoid criticizing. Yes, speak into an issue with care. Be selective and intelligent in what you say. Generally speaking you may criticize the action, but not the person. Avoid calling another stupid, even if they seem so to you. Remember mature Thinking is clear logic while immature Thinking is criticism. 4. If you think another did something wrong, find out why they did it that way. 5. T's may be slow to say "sorry" when it is time to do so. 6. Generally, use your T on you car and your F on your family -- not vice versa. 7. Thinkers under stress may act out of character and have uncontrolled emotional outbursts, hypersensitivity, and take criticism very personally. 8. It's OK to let your feelings show - in fact, it's a lot healthier than bottling them up. But practice expressing your feelings in safe, trust relationship first before you move on to more complex interactions. 1. Consider a career that takes advantage of your T skills of logical analysis, fairness, and objectivity.
(Time Management, Conflict, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself for being friendly, empathetic, skilled with people, and having a strong value system. 2. Everyone needs appreciation but don't over do it. Learn what different types like to be appreciated for. 3. Learn to accept and appreciate a T's gift for finding flaws. 4. If you're proposing a solution, try to make it systematic and logical as well as agreeable. 5. Don't forget to consider the logical consequences of things you want to do. Ask a T's help in this. 6. State your wishes clearly. Don't assume others know what you want without telling them. 7. When talking to a T, keep it brief. T's enjoy statements that have a beginning, a middle with logical points, and (especially) an end. Try to avoid repetition and rambling detail. 8. Avoid making a generalized statement about something from a single experience. 9. When you are feeling something acutely, make an effort to stand "outside yourself" to see it more objectively. 10. Don't assume that others are as aware of feelings as you are.
1. Define your boundaries. Don't immediately respond to whoever is needy. Learn to set aside blocks of time for your own work. Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty. 2. F's procrastinate when it is time to tackle jobs that involve little interaction or negative interactions. Realize your tendency to avoid confrontation. 1. Interpersonal harmony is not always possible. Not everyone will like you nor can you please all of the people all of the time. 2. Take the risk and confront when it's necessary. If you say the wrong thing, the world will not come to an end. 3. Use wisdom when sharing your feelings. 4. Learn to tell when a T is just making an impersonal comment. Don't take everything personally. T's often don't mean criticism personally, no matter how your stomach feels after hearing it. 5. Watch out for extreme stress. It may cause you to act out of character, become critical or faultfinding, be overly domineering and take charge without listening to others. 6. Use F on your family, T on your car (not the reverse). Mature Feeling is a highly differentiated clear sense of one's personal value system. Immature Feeling is a black-and-white, rigid categorization of likes and dislikes. 1. Consider a career that uses to advantage your F strengths: dealing with people, ability to empathize, creating harmony, and finding agreeable solutions.
(Time Management, Conflict, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself for your dependability, organization, planning ability, and ability to complete tasks to reach a goal. 2. J's may shut off perceiving information too quickly. Before you make a decision, ask yourself if you need more facts or alternatives. Consider delaying your decision. 3. Ask you P friends, family, or coworkers for their input before you make a decision. 4. When speaking, try to avoid use language that sounds as if you've made a conclusion. 5. J's can easily become complainers and fall into negativity. Watch out for this. 6. Think of several good surprises in your life. How did you feel about them at the time they happened to you? The unplanned can be positive. 7. Remember the world will not fall apart if you don't have everything planned, orderly, or under control. Recognize this may be coming from your own insecurity 9. Allow others to use their own time schedule, methods, work style and pace. 1. Remember, time is not always important. Don't decide something too quickly just to reach completion. 2. J's procrastinate when it comes time for fun, leisure, and relaxation. They often think "I'll relax after I finish this project. " Schedule time for relaxation. Take time to play. And play at playing. Try not playing to win or a noncompetitive game. 3. Drop everything and go for a spontaneous activity with someone important to you. If you can't do that, make plans to do something uncharacteristic for you. 1. J's seek to deal with things immediately, preferring to be in control. 2. Recognize that your need for order and control can be misunderstood by others. Learn to loosen up. 3. Js are not always right. Conflict resolution depends upon this. Try not to see the world as black and white or right and wrong. Work on accepting the differences among people. 1. Consider a career that takes advantage of your skills of organization, planning, scheduling, and decisiveness.
(Time Management, Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Careers) 1. Appreciate yourself for your adaptability, spontaneity, and comfortable manner. 2. Try to make fewer promises. Learn to say "no" more often. Recognize your proneness to distraction. 3. Practice not going along with the flow or resisting passively. Explain your disagreement or preferences. 4. Consider decreasing the long list of options and activities in your life. Learn focus and concentrate on the most important. 5. Perhaps you need to throw away something every day. 6. Give yourself deadlines for just about anything you intend to do. 7. Practice making more decisions quickly. 8. Focus on the process more than the goal. Keep the goal in mind, but don't let it cut you off too soon from your strength which is developing possibilities by listening. Work on defining and changing the goals later. 9. Expect J's to negatively judge your work style, pace, or even output. J's underestimate the benefits of a flexible P approach. 10. It takes great intelligence, flexibility and skill to operate successfully without a plan. J's may not understand or appreciate your skill in this.
1. Learn time-scheduling techniques and incorporate them into your life. Get a friend to help you stick to the routine. 2. Try to focus, limiting yourself to only 2 or 3 projects at a time. 3. Plan extra time so you can be on time. Give yourself early deadlines 4. P's procrastinate when it comes to making a final decision about something. There is always something else to know, more information to be gathered and examined. 1. P's always seek alternatives. This can frustrate J's. 2. Because P's share their perceptions instead of their judgments, they think they sound more definite than they really do. Because J's need to hear definite and clear statements, Ps often seem not to say what they mean. 1. Take a clear position. P's often argue both sides because they truly see both sides of an argument. Flexibility and adaptation may not always help to solve a problem. Sometimes you need to take a stand and defend it. 2. Recognize that your P habits can drive Js crazy.
1. Consider a career where your P skills of spontaneity and flexibility, even in the face of changing situations, are an asset.
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